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5 exercises to survive a zombie apocalypse

Top 5 Exercises to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

I believe preparation for the inevitable zombie apocalypse, in the near future, should be taken seriously by all.

Due to the growing consumption of foods containing GMO’s, pesticides, gluten, sugar, hormones in dairy, trans fats, preservatives and other food nasty’s, the end of days may be closer than you think.

To avoid the unimaginable pain and despair, I’ve compiled a list of helpful exercises to aid your zombie apocalypse preparation and reduce the probability of you being munched on by the un-dead.

So, without further ado…

1: Farmer’s Walk
Train yourself to carry heavy weaponry and food supplies (mainly organic coconut oil).

2: Yolk Walk
Briskly carry the mortally wounded on your back to safety (so they can then be killed in private before they turn).

3: Box Jump
Practice the ability to fling yourself over high obstacles when being chased.

4: Muscle Up
High walls and scaffolding are a piece of gluten-free cake when you master the muscle up; allowing you to make a quick and effortless escape.
 
5: Hill Sprint
I pity the fool who can’t run up a hill! If you can’t run fast, well… you’re already dead.

So there you have it! Enjoy your weekend.

By Ashley Connolly